Body Mass Index. I really didn't want to "go there" but I thought I would calculate it anyhoo knowing I am obese. To those of you out there who have less than 100 lbs. to lose, I applaud you. My BMI is 43.3. Sometimes that can be so discouraging to see besides weighing on the scales.
My friend Crystal, whom I met through our sons' school, is a better blogger than I and was able to get 4 months of free Nutrisystem foods just for blogging which I think is cool. I've been on Nutrisystem for years and my weight goes up and down a lot. My goal right now is to eat food from all the shipments that I neglected and make more room in my already crowded small house.
I'm slowly doing better with my back and neck vertebrae. I can't push myself too hard but I do need to hit the gym more often. We're supposed to get a cold front with maybe ice and snow on Tuesday and if that's the case, I'll be saying hello to my Wii Fit. I have heard a lot of good things about Zumba and Wii's Dance games. I was a barfly in my early twenties and if giggling it gets the weight off, that will be fun!
This past week my son told another mother at school to stop relying on us for help but to take care of her own family's needs. Now I see he eats up the conversations I have with my husband like a sponge. I'm no longer friends with the lady as I'm one of those who believes you don't tell others that God says you have to do this and that when to be honest the other person just wants to use your finances, favors, etc. to benefit herself. At times I wish I didn't care what others think about me but I hear the rumors and realize I must be someone really special if they have no one better to talk about or put their heart into (like reading the bible) and nitpick my life to death. I'm a hands on mom with a cluttered house and know I'm not the only woman out there who struggles with keeping a clean, organized house.
My son is still struggling with eyelash pulling and hair pulling. There is an Aspergers Support group that is to meet this coming Wednesday night providing we don't have bad weather (predicting snow and ice). I would love to hook up with other parents to get a better understand of why my son behaves the way he does. My little guy has had issues since birth and tends to isolate himself from others unless they share common interests and even then over time he will get bored with them and do his own thing on a play date.
I am hoping this week is a better one than last week. I had the blahs something awful.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Dealing with Adult Bullies On Top of Health Issues
It's Monday, January 17, 2011. Since my last post we have adopted a new tortoiseshell cat that we call Sookie. We got her from the City of Hurst Animal Shelter. Why adopt a pet? I cannot tell you the number of humans who have saved my life when I have fallen into a deep depression and thought there was no way out short of God taking me home. Philip and I had broken hearts when Jasmine had to be put down on December 18, 2010, and Sookie has brought back life to our home.
How did I come up with the name Sookie? One of my friends turned me on to watching the cable tv series "True Blood" then I started reading the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris and there you have it. My Barnes and Noble nook is full of Sookie books and now I have a Sookie in my home. Is my Sookie cat a fairy with special powers? Not really. Right now we're working on litter box issues but in general she is a very friendly cat and anyone who enters our home is not a stranger to her. Philip is a little rough with her but with his ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, he doesn't always grasp when Sookie has had enough. Lucky for Philip, I had Sookie's front paws declawed yet she still manages to get him with her back paws!
I haven't been doing too well on my Nutrisystem but hey, I'm honest. One night my spouse commented on the calories I ate on some lemon shortbread cookie fingers that were a Christmas present from my Aunt Gene Douglas in Tennessee. Hello honey, that is called depression and eating for comfort. That's not all I ate and I still struggle with wanting to purge my food so I don't gain weight. I thought I was FAT when I weighed 135-155 pounds and was a size 10. Now I'm a size 18 and have the purging thoughts but am trying hard to lose weight the healthy way but it's frustrating.
Tonight we are having a new mattress (foam like those famous brands only I didn't shell out $3,000) and box springs delivered. I hope it helps with my back problems. 3 months of physical therapy (May, June and July 2010) and I still feel bad doing my exercises and using an ice pack. I went back to my handsome chiropractor and he is well worth $40 for an adjustment that takes a few minutes over 3 hours in physical therapy.
I used to think there were only child bullies at school but trust me, I found adult bullies at Philip's school and that is something I don't make light of. http://www.wikihow.com/Respond-to-an-Adult-Bully This link explains it doesn't end in school folks. My son was being picked on and so was I. It's not nice to be someone's target to the point they ruin your reputation by gossiping to others about why they don't like you then you get a TRUE friend who comes to you and says she wants no part of that gossip but feels I deserve to know to put an end to it.
It was so bad I resigned 2 PTA positions I was really excited about to avoid my bully. The aftermath continued so I contacted my lawyer who was happy to help as he is good at what I call "bitch slapping." I went to my doctor and got a note on doctor RX pad basically saying in my doctor's handwriting that I was not to be put in any stressful situations due to my health problems. By resigning my 2 positions and getting that doctor's note, my lawyer said I was in no way obligated to keep putting up with the bullying crap. But it didn't stop there...
I made sure to call our school principal and make her aware of the situation. She was floored. She had heard nothing about me and I told her that I was threatened by higher level PTA that I was under PTA authority if I volunteered at school. I told her I didn't want to see this situation come to a lawsuit and proved to her I could make this bully's life a living hell if she didn't stop not just bullying me but others I mentioned by name who I would protect. It made me feel GOOD to hear the principal say that NO ONE has the right to determine who can VOLUNTEER at HER school. The principal knows I'm like the school's Santa Claus as I do a lot for the school financially that other parents cannot afford to do. She was there for me when my first husband died when Philip was in 1st grade and knew I was not lying about the life insurance policy that could fund a lawsuit.
What is funny to me is I have found out that my bully has since talked to two of my friends trying to feel them out for information about me, basically saying to them I must really hate her. My inner circle would never tell on me and both friends basically said they wouldn't discuss it, the damage had been done, and they weren't going to be used to get to me. Am I polite to my bully at school? Yes. Do I hate her? No. Do I think she has issues she needs to deal with and because we have similar personalities we will never be close friends? Right on. She and I used to get along fine until she developed a clique. Some will say a clique doesn't exist but those of us not wearing rose colored glasses know better. Do I believe in karma? Yes. Do I believe that God can punish this woman for any wrongdoing better than I could ever dream up myself? Yes!
I learned a valuable lesson. Don't get taken advantage of. Volunteer at school in areas where you shine and do it for the teachers and the students, not for someone with a bossy personality who isn't appreciative. We all have our bad days but there is no excuse to take your stress level out at someone else. If you don't think you can approach me, do it anyway. Write me a note. Send me an email. Facebook me a private message. Send me a text message to my cell phone. I'm not the type of person to say I am perfect by any means but going off on me either in private or in public only lets my Queen out. Smart people know when it comes to me, my "Queen" trumps "bitch" every time.
How did I come up with the name Sookie? One of my friends turned me on to watching the cable tv series "True Blood" then I started reading the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris and there you have it. My Barnes and Noble nook is full of Sookie books and now I have a Sookie in my home. Is my Sookie cat a fairy with special powers? Not really. Right now we're working on litter box issues but in general she is a very friendly cat and anyone who enters our home is not a stranger to her. Philip is a little rough with her but with his ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome, he doesn't always grasp when Sookie has had enough. Lucky for Philip, I had Sookie's front paws declawed yet she still manages to get him with her back paws!
I haven't been doing too well on my Nutrisystem but hey, I'm honest. One night my spouse commented on the calories I ate on some lemon shortbread cookie fingers that were a Christmas present from my Aunt Gene Douglas in Tennessee. Hello honey, that is called depression and eating for comfort. That's not all I ate and I still struggle with wanting to purge my food so I don't gain weight. I thought I was FAT when I weighed 135-155 pounds and was a size 10. Now I'm a size 18 and have the purging thoughts but am trying hard to lose weight the healthy way but it's frustrating.
Tonight we are having a new mattress (foam like those famous brands only I didn't shell out $3,000) and box springs delivered. I hope it helps with my back problems. 3 months of physical therapy (May, June and July 2010) and I still feel bad doing my exercises and using an ice pack. I went back to my handsome chiropractor and he is well worth $40 for an adjustment that takes a few minutes over 3 hours in physical therapy.
I used to think there were only child bullies at school but trust me, I found adult bullies at Philip's school and that is something I don't make light of. http://www.wikihow.com/Respond-to-an-Adult-Bully This link explains it doesn't end in school folks. My son was being picked on and so was I. It's not nice to be someone's target to the point they ruin your reputation by gossiping to others about why they don't like you then you get a TRUE friend who comes to you and says she wants no part of that gossip but feels I deserve to know to put an end to it.
It was so bad I resigned 2 PTA positions I was really excited about to avoid my bully. The aftermath continued so I contacted my lawyer who was happy to help as he is good at what I call "bitch slapping." I went to my doctor and got a note on doctor RX pad basically saying in my doctor's handwriting that I was not to be put in any stressful situations due to my health problems. By resigning my 2 positions and getting that doctor's note, my lawyer said I was in no way obligated to keep putting up with the bullying crap. But it didn't stop there...
I made sure to call our school principal and make her aware of the situation. She was floored. She had heard nothing about me and I told her that I was threatened by higher level PTA that I was under PTA authority if I volunteered at school. I told her I didn't want to see this situation come to a lawsuit and proved to her I could make this bully's life a living hell if she didn't stop not just bullying me but others I mentioned by name who I would protect. It made me feel GOOD to hear the principal say that NO ONE has the right to determine who can VOLUNTEER at HER school. The principal knows I'm like the school's Santa Claus as I do a lot for the school financially that other parents cannot afford to do. She was there for me when my first husband died when Philip was in 1st grade and knew I was not lying about the life insurance policy that could fund a lawsuit.
What is funny to me is I have found out that my bully has since talked to two of my friends trying to feel them out for information about me, basically saying to them I must really hate her. My inner circle would never tell on me and both friends basically said they wouldn't discuss it, the damage had been done, and they weren't going to be used to get to me. Am I polite to my bully at school? Yes. Do I hate her? No. Do I think she has issues she needs to deal with and because we have similar personalities we will never be close friends? Right on. She and I used to get along fine until she developed a clique. Some will say a clique doesn't exist but those of us not wearing rose colored glasses know better. Do I believe in karma? Yes. Do I believe that God can punish this woman for any wrongdoing better than I could ever dream up myself? Yes!
I learned a valuable lesson. Don't get taken advantage of. Volunteer at school in areas where you shine and do it for the teachers and the students, not for someone with a bossy personality who isn't appreciative. We all have our bad days but there is no excuse to take your stress level out at someone else. If you don't think you can approach me, do it anyway. Write me a note. Send me an email. Facebook me a private message. Send me a text message to my cell phone. I'm not the type of person to say I am perfect by any means but going off on me either in private or in public only lets my Queen out. Smart people know when it comes to me, my "Queen" trumps "bitch" every time.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Year With New Beginnings
2010 is now the past with 2011 starting my new future. I never asked to be diagnosed with so many health problems but I still have fight left in me. In early December I had to see my dermatologist for scalp eczema and my facial rosacea. When he saw the computer printed list of all the medications I take simply to exist from day to day, he told me no one should be on that many. The magic number of supplements, creams for my face and scalp rash, and prescription meds has now reached the number 22.
I remember when I was a newlywed to my first husband, Mel, who died 10 years after we were married, I was only on 2 prescription medications. I was at a healthy weight and was able to do more physically than I am now. Fast forward from age 28 to age 42 and here I am trusting God to help me understand how I got to this place with my health and how to fix it.
I fully admit I am a compulsive overeater addicted to sugar. I'm not talking the occasional candy bar here but say there is a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in the fridge I really love, and it's one my husband doesn't care for, it's gone in 2 days because of my cravings and emotional issues.
It was hard to get the Christmas spirit in 2010 because I had to put down my beloved Jasmine tortoise shell cat who was over 16 years old. My current husband is NOT a cat person by any means so he doesn't understand the sadness my son and I are going through. Philip had known Jasmine since birth and I had been a part of the cat's life since dating Mel in summer 1995. To see her dying of kidney failure, having seizures, etc. broke my heart. It was like she had spring in her step on Monday then by Thursday she went through all kinds of testing and found she had kidney failure with less than 40% chance to make it. I took Philip to the emergency clinic, took some pictures of him with her covered up, and we cried and said our goodbyes. Then I came home to a husband who didn't seem the least bit affected. I know it was wrong of me to tell my husband he had a "cold heart" but when his mother died on October 8th of 2010, he was sad a few days then has blown it off ever since. I guess men grieve differently than women and children.
One minute my husband tells my son and I that if we'll take care of the litter box, furr balls, hair, etc. we can get another cat (from a shelter--I believe in rescue) and then he changes his mind saying he's not ready for another animal. Now he sees Philip and I moody as we'd already been to several places in search of another cat. When I married Geary I had 3 cats and one dog. Now we have two dogs (one because he didn't want to have a child with me) and no cats. I am listening to my 10 year old mention wanting another cat every day, and crying often during the week where Geary can't grasp my stress levels. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation where I can't win. It's my home and Geary moved in after we married. I find myself looking for the cat and realize she is not here. Jasmine was the last of the 4 cats from my first marriage to Philip's father and now there is an empty place in our hearts that longs to have another cat. We know Jasmine can't really be replaced but the comfort it would bring my son, a CAT person, would really take the load off my high strung stress levels. After all, at one point, I was cleaning up after 3 cats total!
I'm trying hard to get back on my Nutrisystem. I had a bad mammogram in November that revealed microcalcifications in my right breast. Luckily on biopsy day the 2nd set of x-rays showed the calcium deposits unclustered and floating in milk so they were benign. Now I have to go every 6 months for mammograms based on my history. I could see God's hand that day as the doctor told me it is RARE for any woman to come in and not have the biopsy performed.
I want to lose 25 pounds to start then on to the next 25 pounds. Overall I'd like to lose 100 pounds total but I'm a realist. It may take me two or more years to get there but I'm tired of feeling 70 years old instead of 42. It is tough because I'm not supposed to have alcohol or caffeine due to my breast issues and I'm not supposed to have sugar, high fructose corn syrup, etc. because of my rosacea and eczema. I get really moody when I don't get a chance to eat my forbidden foods and I'm not a "fruit" person to get natural healthy sugars.
I will try to keep posting in the days ahead. I just have had the blues lately. I don't feel like my good old self but excessively fatigued and drowsy from all the medications I take. If you can relate to my story, please post or drop me an email to tx_nelb@yahoo.com. I'm also on facebook as eyes2blue68.
I remember when I was a newlywed to my first husband, Mel, who died 10 years after we were married, I was only on 2 prescription medications. I was at a healthy weight and was able to do more physically than I am now. Fast forward from age 28 to age 42 and here I am trusting God to help me understand how I got to this place with my health and how to fix it.
I fully admit I am a compulsive overeater addicted to sugar. I'm not talking the occasional candy bar here but say there is a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in the fridge I really love, and it's one my husband doesn't care for, it's gone in 2 days because of my cravings and emotional issues.
It was hard to get the Christmas spirit in 2010 because I had to put down my beloved Jasmine tortoise shell cat who was over 16 years old. My current husband is NOT a cat person by any means so he doesn't understand the sadness my son and I are going through. Philip had known Jasmine since birth and I had been a part of the cat's life since dating Mel in summer 1995. To see her dying of kidney failure, having seizures, etc. broke my heart. It was like she had spring in her step on Monday then by Thursday she went through all kinds of testing and found she had kidney failure with less than 40% chance to make it. I took Philip to the emergency clinic, took some pictures of him with her covered up, and we cried and said our goodbyes. Then I came home to a husband who didn't seem the least bit affected. I know it was wrong of me to tell my husband he had a "cold heart" but when his mother died on October 8th of 2010, he was sad a few days then has blown it off ever since. I guess men grieve differently than women and children.
One minute my husband tells my son and I that if we'll take care of the litter box, furr balls, hair, etc. we can get another cat (from a shelter--I believe in rescue) and then he changes his mind saying he's not ready for another animal. Now he sees Philip and I moody as we'd already been to several places in search of another cat. When I married Geary I had 3 cats and one dog. Now we have two dogs (one because he didn't want to have a child with me) and no cats. I am listening to my 10 year old mention wanting another cat every day, and crying often during the week where Geary can't grasp my stress levels. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation where I can't win. It's my home and Geary moved in after we married. I find myself looking for the cat and realize she is not here. Jasmine was the last of the 4 cats from my first marriage to Philip's father and now there is an empty place in our hearts that longs to have another cat. We know Jasmine can't really be replaced but the comfort it would bring my son, a CAT person, would really take the load off my high strung stress levels. After all, at one point, I was cleaning up after 3 cats total!
I'm trying hard to get back on my Nutrisystem. I had a bad mammogram in November that revealed microcalcifications in my right breast. Luckily on biopsy day the 2nd set of x-rays showed the calcium deposits unclustered and floating in milk so they were benign. Now I have to go every 6 months for mammograms based on my history. I could see God's hand that day as the doctor told me it is RARE for any woman to come in and not have the biopsy performed.
I want to lose 25 pounds to start then on to the next 25 pounds. Overall I'd like to lose 100 pounds total but I'm a realist. It may take me two or more years to get there but I'm tired of feeling 70 years old instead of 42. It is tough because I'm not supposed to have alcohol or caffeine due to my breast issues and I'm not supposed to have sugar, high fructose corn syrup, etc. because of my rosacea and eczema. I get really moody when I don't get a chance to eat my forbidden foods and I'm not a "fruit" person to get natural healthy sugars.
I will try to keep posting in the days ahead. I just have had the blues lately. I don't feel like my good old self but excessively fatigued and drowsy from all the medications I take. If you can relate to my story, please post or drop me an email to tx_nelb@yahoo.com. I'm also on facebook as eyes2blue68.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
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